Bacon's Revenge
“Slainte!”
 
Neal Bacon burped softly as he licked the foam from his mustache. He nodded at the barkeep, then replied, “Yerself!” His next sip slid down nice and easy.
 
Tonight, he hoped there’d be no distractions. Looking around the cluttered room, he saw nothing to worry about. At least not yet. It was early. The college crowd wouldn’t arrive ‘til later on, long after Reynal. Neal wasn’t a hot head. He kept an eye on everything, alright, but he didn’t go sticking his nose into other people’s business. He just knew how to get even, when it was needed. It would be the last chance he’d get, now that his new job had come in.
 
“Neal?”
 
He swiveled his head around. Joey was gliding up to the bar at the far end where his usual stool waited. Neal nodded quickly, noticing how red Joey’s eyes were already.
 
“Hey Joey. Howz yer day been?”
 
“Same old-same old,” came the reply. Joey ordered an Abita and a shot of Jameson’s. After a sip of beer, he knocked back the shot following it with another slug of beer. Joey said, “You know, Neal… I saw yer sister yesterday. Over on Magazine…you know?”
 
“Yeah.” Neal replied, adding, “I knew she was back around. I haven’t heard from ‘er yet, though.”
 
“It was a hard break for her.”
 
“Yeah. Hard break.” Shit, why’d he have to bring it all up again? Neal didn’t need this. He didn’t want memories of Katie and Reynal swimming around in his head tonight. It already made him feel… discombobulated or something. Distracted.
 
Joey worked over at Tulane. Groundskeeper or something. Once Katie had started classes, Joey would occasionally see her and let Neal know how she was doing. It had been nice, to know she was okay and not be all, “in her face” all the time. There’d been so much riding on her back. Her acceptance letter was even framed in her bedroom, back home. Everybody was so proud that a girl from the Channel, especially from their family, was going to be somebody. They all said so, over and over again.
 
Neal glanced at the clock in the shadows near where the old pay phone used to be. He stood up and made his way to the john. Two doors stood side by side at the end of a narrow hallway. It was a regular joke, how if both emptied out at once, you’d have to dance around each other to get past. He felt the small, rolled bundle in his side pocket as he entered the men’s room.
 
There were two stalls and two urinals on one wall and a couple of sinks. Neal unrolled an “Out of Order” sign he’d made from the rolled paper bag and taped it to the door of the far stall. He figured he’d down another pint fast, so he’d have a reason to return once Reynal got there. He rolled the bag carefully around his remaining supplies, drained the lizard, then zipped up and headed back to the bar.
 
Reynal had already found a stool, halfway down and was knocking back a shot of cognac as Neal walked past behind him.
 
“Heeyy, Bacon!”
 
“Yeah. Howzit goin’ Reynal?
 
Neal took his seat, and raised his pint, looking down the bar to where the big, loud asshole sat. His broad, pink face glistened in the light glinting off the bottles in the back-bar.
 
“So, whatcha doin’ all the way down there? C’mon down! I got somebody I’d like ya to meet!”
 
Neal slid down and took the stool next to Reynal. Reynal always needed an audience, and from the handbag on the bar, under Reynal’s elbow, Neal could see he’d brought one with him. Reynal stuck his shot glass out so Neal could clink it with his pint. Like they were buds. Right.
Reynal went on about some recent achievement that was about to change his whole direction. Neal nodded, smiling while keeping his mind on other things. Reynal came from an old sugar family. Lots of pride. Money, too. It must have been why the loudmouth had been so attractive to Katie. Why, she’d been drawn like a moth to a parking lot light. It hadn’t helped that the Reynals’ mansion was right up there near the school. He’d introduced her to dope and sex, then tossed her aside after the accident. Reynal had blamed the whole thing on Katie, and not just to the cops. He’d spread a line of bullshit around the whole campus and most of the town, too. He’d been behind the wheel, said Katie, but she was the one they hauled in.
 
Neal needed to keep his temper under control. Neal noticed that Reynal smelled faintly of seaweed. Must have been out on his daddy’s boat.
 
“So here she is now!” Reynal’s announcement accompanied a thin, studious-looking young woman with straight, blonde hair to her shoulders, who’d just left the ladies’ room. She smiled at Neal, revealing a retainer wire.
 
Jailbait, Neal figured, offering, “Neal Bacon.”
 
He watched her smile flutter as his last name was uttered. “I’m Maddie Cole, Mr. Bay-con,” she replied in a Carolina drawl, sticking out her hand.
 
Her fingers were cool and slightly damp. Neal grasped them lightly, then returned to his pint while Reynal went on about how he’d met “Miss Cole”. Neal figured she was maybe eighteen, but seventeen was more like it. Same age Katie had been. He called the barkeep for another pint.
 
He hadn’t figured on the girl or extra set of eyes. He had to pull a little switcheroo with a couple of glasses. While Reynal rambled, Neal noticed how she focused upon Reynal’s every word. He reached down into his jeans pocket and touched the screw cap on the little glass vial he’d brought back from that old Cajun witchee-woman. It fit within the knuckles of his curled middle finger. Okay. Almost showtime.
 
Neal slugged back the new pint and ordered another. Reynal nodded saying, “Just like a frog to water! Lemme buy you a shot to go with that!” No argument there.
 
Neal remembered last week’s conversation…
 
“Alright son, but this stuff works really fast. I mean maybe a coupla minutes is all the warning he’s gonna get.”
 
“What’s in it anyway?”
 
“Oh, some Cascara Sagrada, some Senna… some stuff of my own, cooked up a long, long time. It’s bitter, so make sure that it’s in somethin’ with lots of flavor, or he’ll taste it. You got that?”
 
“Yessim”
 
“You got that money, too?”
 
The vial contained a tea-colored tincture. Neal rolled it between his fingers, beneath the bar while listening to the girl talk about her classes. Now, he suggested something special.
 
“Why don’t I order somthin’ special for you and your girl? Somethin’ she had to come to Nola for?”
 
The girl smiled excitedly as Reynal asked, “Now what d’jall have in mind, Bacon?”
 
“Well, since she’s from outta town, I’d like to buy you both a Sazerac –with real Peychaud’s Bitters.” He leaned back, to speak with the girl directly, saying, “It’s the official drink of New Orleans!”
 
Reynal curled up his lip and said, “I thought the Hurricane was the official drink.”
 
“Not since Katrina. It’s the Sazerac now. ‘Sides, it’s a better drink anyway. Not everybody knows how to pour it just right, you know? You know what-all’s in ‘em?”
 
“What’s this, a quiz? Why don’t you just order ‘em while I head for the… back room, for a minute, OK?” Reynal stood holding the edge of the bar, then steered towards the john.
 
Neal whistled up the barkeep and asked for three Sazeracs. “You know the real kind, with Absinthe, you know?”
 
“Well, I’ll make ‘em, but you gotta pay fer ‘em! Extra glasses and all.”
 
“No problem at all”, replied Neal, to the barkeep then turning to the girl he added, “Now watch the man work – it’s really special.”
 
Her focus turned to the bar, where the barkeep was fiddling with bottles and glasses and ice. Neal quickly unscrewed the cap on the vial, then palmed it.
 
“What’s thay-at he’s doin’ naow?” The girl asked, just as the barkeep flung excess Absinthe into the sink after turning the glass slowly to coat it inside.
 
“Now watch how he chills off the rye…” Neal hoped her attention would hold. After a few moments, the barkeep turned and with a flourish, produced an old-fashioned glass one-quarter full of the whisky drink. A peppery, licorice smell drifted up from where he sat it down on the bar in front of the girl.
 
“The official drink of New Orleans, Miss.”
 
Reynal’s date actually clapped her hands. Neal smiled as she watched the next two drinks being mixed. Neal began to worry they wouldn’t be ready before Reynal returned, but by the time Reynal swung the door open, Neal had both glasses sitting right in front of him. She’d got up to pick something on the juke box. Neal carefully dumped the palmed vial’s contents into one of the drinks. He heard a couple of quarters drop into the machine just as Reynal came rolling back up to the bar.
 
The sounds of an old Creole tune began washing through the joint. Neal figured it for Dr. John. “Perfect choice.” he announced as he presented the drink to Reynal.
 
“Jus’ so we all know where we are!” Neal lifted his glass in a toast, and took a sip. Reynal, in his usual, boisterous way, knocked back half the drink, then slapped the top of the bar with his hand.
 
“Whoo-ee! That’s some kind a drink, isn’t it Miss Cole?”
 
“Oohh!” she replied, giggling, “It tastes like licorice and… something else! It’s good!”
 
“Yes it is,” said Reynal, as he knocked back the rest. “Yer alright, Bacon!”
 
Neal smiled, sipped again, then announced he’d be right back. He got up and walked back to the john. This time, sliding into the Out of Order stall, he unrolled the paper package and withdrew another part in his plans: an extra-large tube of crazy glue. He spread its contents out along the toilet seat’s top surface. It was shiny black, and the light was dim. Just before leaving, he switched the Out of Order sign to the other stall door and crossed his fingers.
 
Back at the bar, Neal sipped his drink as Reynal asked for a bottle of Purple Haze, to chase the Sazerac. The combination made Neal shudder. The big man put on his usual show, but Neal saw him suddenly grimace. A few moments later, he grimaced again and a low, rumbling roar sounded from under the bar, in front of Reynal.
 
“Shit. Sorry…” Reynal rose from his stool and walked stiffly towards the door to the men’s room. Reynal put his hand upon the door knob, then stepped back, nodding. Reynal rocked and waited. The door opened, and an old guy from one of the dark tables emerged, dancing around Reynal to get past. Reynal stepped in and the door closed.
 
Maddie Cole was still telling Neal about one of her professors, when Neal thought he heard someone shouting. He excused himself, and headed towards the men’s room.
 
Sure enough, Reynal was angrily calling out from inside the locked stall, “Help, I can’t get up!”
 
Neal walked quietly over to the closed stall door and removed the last rolled paper sign from his pocket:
 
While you’re sitting there, think twice before bad-mouthing a woman from the Channel again, asshole!
 
Neal flipped it over the stall door and pressed a line of tape on the top edge to hold it. Reynal began to bellow, “You sumbitch! You shit! I’ll get you!” Neal couldn’t be seen from inside the stall; and though he was sorely tempted to reply, he kept his cool -- wiping the smile off his face thinking, Houston’s gonna be just fine.
 
© Richard Sutton 2015
 
All rights reserved by the author
“Slainte!”
 
Neal Bacon burped softly as he licked the foam from his mustache. He nodded at the barkeep, then replied, “Yerself!” His next sip slid down nice and easy.
 
Tonight, he hoped there’d be no distractions. Looking around the cluttered room, he saw nothing to worry about. At least not yet. It was early. The college crowd wouldn’t arrive ‘til later on, long after Reynal. Neal wasn’t a hot head. He kept an eye on everything, alright, but he didn’t go sticking his nose into other people’s business. He just knew how to get even, when it was needed. It would be the last chance he’d get, now that his new job had come in.
 
“Neal?”
 
He swiveled his head around. Joey was gliding up to the bar at the far end where his usual stool waited. Neal nodded quickly, noticing how red Joey’s eyes were already.
 
“Hey Joey. Howz yer day been?”
 
“Same old-same old,” came the reply. Joey ordered an Abita and a shot of Jameson’s. After a sip of beer, he knocked back the shot following it with another slug of beer. Joey said, “You know, Neal… I saw yer sister yesterday. Over on Magazine…you know?”
 
“Yeah.” Neal replied, adding, “I knew she was back around. I haven’t heard from ‘er yet, though.”
 
“It was a hard break for her.”
 
“Yeah. Hard break.” Shit, why’d he have to bring it all up again? Neal didn’t need this. He didn’t want memories of Katie and Reynal swimming around in his head tonight. It already made him feel… discombobulated or something. Distracted.
 
Joey worked over at Tulane. Groundskeeper or something. Once Katie had started classes, Joey would occasionally see her and let Neal know how she was doing. It had been nice, to know she was okay and not be all, “in her face” all the time. There’d been so much riding on her back. Her acceptance letter was even framed in her bedroom, back home. Everybody was so proud that a girl from the Channel, especially from their family, was going to be somebody. They all said so, over and over again.
 
Neal glanced at the clock in the shadows near where the old pay phone used to be. He stood up and made his way to the john. Two doors stood side by side at the end of a narrow hallway. It was a regular joke, how if both emptied out at once, you’d have to dance around each other to get past. He felt the small, rolled bundle in his side pocket as he entered the men’s room.
 
There were two stalls and two urinals on one wall and a couple of sinks. Neal unrolled an “Out of Order” sign he’d made from the rolled paper bag and taped it to the door of the far stall. He figured he’d down another pint fast, so he’d have a reason to return once Reynal got there. He rolled the bag carefully around his remaining supplies, drained the lizard, then zipped up and headed back to the bar.
 
Reynal had already found a stool, halfway down and was knocking back a shot of cognac as Neal walked past behind him.
 
“Heeyy, Bacon!”
 
“Yeah. Howzit goin’ Reynal?
 
Neal took his seat, and raised his pint, looking down the bar to where the big, loud asshole sat. His broad, pink face glistened in the light glinting off the bottles in the back-bar.
 
“So, whatcha doin’ all the way down there? C’mon down! I got somebody I’d like ya to meet!”
 
Neal slid down and took the stool next to Reynal. Reynal always needed an audience, and from the handbag on the bar, under Reynal’s elbow, Neal could see he’d brought one with him. Reynal stuck his shot glass out so Neal could clink it with his pint. Like they were buds. Right.
 
Reynal went on about some recent achievement that was about to change his whole direction. Neal nodded, smiling while keeping his mind on other things. Reynal came from an old sugar family. Lots of pride. Money, too. It must have been why the loudmouth had been so attractive to Katie. Why, she’d been drawn like a moth to a parking lot light. It hadn’t helped that the Reynals’ mansion was right up there near the school. He’d introduced her to dope and sex, then tossed her aside after the accident. Reynal had blamed the whole thing on Katie, and not just to the cops. He’d spread a line of bullshit around the whole campus and most of the town, too. He’d been behind the wheel, said Katie, but she was the one they hauled in.
 
Neal needed to keep his temper under control. Neal noticed that Reynal smelled faintly of seaweed. Must have been out on his daddy’s boat.
 
“So here she is now!” Reynal’s announcement accompanied a thin, studious-looking young woman with straight, blonde hair to her shoulders, who’d just left the ladies’ room. She smiled at Neal, revealing a retainer wire.
 
Jailbait, Neal figured, offering, “Neal Bacon.”
 
He watched her smile flutter as his last name was uttered. “I’m Maddie Cole, Mr. Bay-con,” she replied in a Carolina drawl, sticking out her hand.
 
Her fingers were cool and slightly damp. Neal grasped them lightly, then returned to his pint while Reynal went on about how he’d met “Miss Cole”. Neal figured she was maybe eighteen, but seventeen was more like it. Same age Katie had been. He called the barkeep for another pint.
 
He hadn’t figured on the girl or extra set of eyes. He had to pull a little switcheroo with a couple of glasses. While Reynal rambled, Neal noticed how she focused upon Reynal’s every word. He reached down into his jeans pocket and touched the screw cap on the little glass vial he’d brought back from that old Cajun witchee-woman. It fit within the knuckles of his curled middle finger. Okay. Almost showtime.
 
Neal slugged back the new pint and ordered another. Reynal nodded saying, “Just like a frog to water! Lemme buy you a shot to go with that!” No argument there.
 
Neal remembered last week’s conversation…
 
“Alright son, but this stuff works really fast. I mean maybe a coupla minutes is all the warning he’s gonna get.”
 
“What’s in it anyway?”
 
“Oh, some Cascara Sagrada, some Senna… some stuff of my own, cooked up a long, long time. It’s bitter, so make sure that it’s in somethin’ with lots of flavor, or he’ll taste it. You got that?”
 
“Yessim”
 
“You got that money, too?”
 
The vial contained a tea-colored tincture. Neal rolled it between his fingers, beneath the bar while listening to the girl talk about her classes. Now, he suggested something special.
 
“Why don’t I order somthin’ special for you and your girl? Somethin’ she had to come to Nola for?”
 
The girl smiled excitedly as Reynal asked, “Now what d’jall have in mind, Bacon?”
 
“Well, since she’s from outta town, I’d like to buy you both a Sazerac –with real Peychaud’s Bitters.” He leaned back, to speak with the girl directly, saying, “It’s the official drink of New Orleans!”
 
Reynal curled up his lip and said, “I thought the Hurricane was the official drink.”
 
“Not since Katrina. It’s the Sazerac now. ‘Sides, it’s a better drink anyway. Not everybody knows how to pour it just right, you know? You know what-all’s in ‘em?”
 
“What’s this, a quiz? Why don’t you just order ‘em while I head for the… back room, for a minute, OK?” Reynal stood holding the edge of the bar, then steered towards the john.
 
Neal whistled up the barkeep and asked for three Sazeracs. “You know the real kind, with Absinthe, you know?”
 
“Well, I’ll make ‘em, but you gotta pay fer ‘em! Extra glasses and all.”
 
“No problem at all”, replied Neal, to the barkeep then turning to the girl he added, “Now watch the man work – it’s really special.”
 
Her focus turned to the bar, where the barkeep was fiddling with bottles and glasses and ice. Neal quickly unscrewed the cap on the vial, then palmed it.
 
“What’s thay-at he’s doin’ naow?” The girl asked, just as the barkeep flung excess Absinthe into the sink after turning the glass slowly to coat it inside.
 
“Now watch how he chills off the rye…” Neal hoped her attention would hold. After a few moments, the barkeep turned and with a flourish, produced an old-fashioned glass one-quarter full of the whisky drink. A peppery, licorice smell drifted up from where he sat it down on the bar in front of the girl.
 
“The official drink of New Orleans, Miss.”
 
Reynal’s date actually clapped her hands. Neal smiled as she watched the next two drinks being mixed. Neal began to worry they wouldn’t be ready before Reynal returned, but by the time Reynal swung the door open, Neal had both glasses sitting right in front of him. She’d got up to pick something on the juke box. Neal carefully dumped the palmed vial’s contents into one of the drinks. He heard a couple of quarters drop into the machine just as Reynal came rolling back up to the bar.
 
The sounds of an old Creole tune began washing through the joint. Neal figured it for Dr. John. “Perfect choice.” he announced as he presented the drink to Reynal.
 
“Jus’ so we all know where we are!” Neal lifted his glass in a toast, and took a sip. Reynal, in his usual, boisterous way, knocked back half the drink, then slapped the top of the bar with his hand.
 
“Whoo-ee! That’s some kind a drink, isn’t it Miss Cole?”
 
“Oohh!” she replied, giggling, “It tastes like licorice and… something else! It’s good!”
 
“Yes it is,” said Reynal, as he knocked back the rest. “Yer alright, Bacon!”
 
Neal smiled, sipped again, then announced he’d be right back. He got up and walked back to the john. This time, sliding into the Out of Order stall, he unrolled the paper package and withdrew another part in his plans: an extra-large tube of crazy glue. He spread its contents out along the toilet seat’s top surface. It was shiny black, and the light was dim. Just before leaving, he switched the Out of Order sign to the other stall door and crossed his fingers.
 
Back at the bar, Neal sipped his drink as Reynal asked for a bottle of Purple Haze, to chase the Sazerac. The combination made Neal shudder. The big man put on his usual show, but Neal saw him suddenly grimace. A few moments later, he grimaced again and a low, rumbling roar sounded from under the bar, in front of Reynal.
 
“Shit. Sorry…” Reynal rose from his stool and walked stiffly towards the door to the men’s room. Reynal put his hand upon the door knob, then stepped back, nodding. Reynal rocked and waited. The door opened, and an old guy from one of the dark tables emerged, dancing around Reynal to get past. Reynal stepped in and the door closed.
 
Maddie Cole was still telling Neal about one of her professors, when Neal thought he heard someone shouting. He excused himself, and headed towards the men’s room.
 
Sure enough, Reynal was angrily calling out from inside the locked stall, “Help, I can’t get up!”
 
Neal walked quietly over to the closed stall door and removed the last rolled paper sign from his pocket:
 
While you’re sitting there, think twice before bad-mouthing a woman from the Channel again, asshole!
 
Neal flipped it over the stall door and pressed a line of tape on the top edge to hold it. Reynal began to bellow, “You sumbitch! You shit! I’ll get you!” Neal couldn’t be seen from inside the stall; and though he was sorely tempted to reply, he kept his cool -- wiping the smile off his face thinking, Houston’s gonna be just fine.
 
© Richard Sutton 2015
 
All rights reserved by the author
Narrated by Richard Sutton.
Narrated by Richard Sutton.
POST RECITAL
TALK
BR: The author of today’s story couldn’t come to our studio because he lives some distance away -- not in New Orleans as you might guess, but in a distinctive enclave of New York sometimes known as “LawnGUYland”. So we have him on the phone line right now.
 
TN: And my apologies in advance if the sound quality is compromised by the phone connection. Welcome, Richard.
 
RS: Hey! It's my great pleasure to talk to you both today. I'm so glad I didn't have to cross those bridges . Tolls add up, you know. You've got to love that VOIP.
 
BR: So Richard, you and I have been sort of internet writing acquaintances for maybe a decade. And I’ve seen your author website, which has about 8 times as many books as I have. It seems most of your fiction deals with Irish history, so I’m wondering, why did you set this story in New Orleans?
 
RS: Well that's a very good question. It just so happened that I was on a reconnaissance mission down to Nola with my wife many years ago, when we discovered some buried family secrets surrounding the grandfather on her father's side that no one ever spoke about. Second Generation Irish American merchant seaman from Brooklyn. After some sleuthing, we found an old address of his down in the Seventh Ward not too far from a Naval Yard that was active in the Thirties, and through the war. The whispers from living children of his, suggested he disappeared and took up with another woman down there, so we wanted to find out. I mean any excuse to take a walk near the foot of Canal Street, if you know what I mean.
 
BR: Yeah, yeah.
 
RS: Anyway, what we found out changed the family history completely. He had been part of a secret Navy/US Maritime Commission convoy made up of brand new two-hundred foot long ocean-going tow tugs. They were built just upriver from Nola at Avondale... and barges. And it turns out it was critical to supply an airbase being built on Tinian Island in the South Pacific. And that airbase later became the home of the Enola Gay. Anyway, he never made the return voyage completely and he's buried down in Panama.
 
But the whole thing felt kinda like a book, you know? But the idea really got cemented into place when we ran into a couple of street musicians in the Quarter on Royal. We got to talking and it turned out they had just moved there from Red Hook, Brooklyn. They were history teachers in the public schools and spoke at length about all the connections between Red Hook and Nola along the lines of Irish merchant seafaring families that often kept homes in both places! So we were thinking about that when a guy comes out of the bar as we speak and he comes over to throw in. He asks us where we were from, and my wife, Vivian replied with her usual humor, “Well, where do they call it a drink o' wah-tah?' He said, “Either here in the Channel, or from Brooklyn!”
 
BR: Yep.
 
RS: So... you know, I mean... What? So the story kind of reflects the need for the recent Irish immigrants to protect their communities by honing this rough-and-ready... I don't know... reputation? It seemed kind of appropriate, and when the tale of the bar-stool retribution began circling around in my head again, it found a new home and became a story. So we've been back many times, and I've enjoyed lots of drinks and pints in the bar the story was set in, right on Magazine Street. The book itself has been a six-year labor of love, so far. I'm about three quarters of the way through. But I'm thinking I might need to nail down some more local facts, don't you?
 
BR: Yes sir... another visit, right! I walked the full length of Magazine Street once, long ago. And I've walked up and down Royal more times than I can count. But it's an interesting coincidence that I'm currently reading A Confederacy of Dunces, which is famous for its New Orleans speech, and also one of the preface pages points out the same thing you just said – how the dialects of New Orleans and various parts of the New York City area share a common source.
 
RS: So it seems the whole world grew out of Brooklyn at one time or another.
 
TN: Yeah...maybe. But culturally New Orleans is a very unusual place, at least for an American city. A place with it’s own brand of magic, as in the Cajun witchy-woman in your story. So what else can you tell us about her?
 
RS: Im going to probably have to... next trip down go and visit Marie Laveau's grave in Iberville Number Two Cemetery at the St. Louis Church off Treme.
 
BR: Oh yeah, I've been there.
 
RS: Of course, the word has it that she's still hanging around outside her tomb. Folks of all kinds still leave requests and different forms of payment for favors granted. Even the historians think she may have been one of the most powerful, politically connected women in the entire South at one time. And I'm no one to scoff at the idea of magic, either. In or near New Orleans, near the city, we've found that practitioners of folk cures and healing both from Cajun and Creole cultures, are still plying their trades. You see occasional signs hanging on trees. They might not hang a regular shingle up but most of the older folks in a neighborhood know who to go to see if you need something special.
 
TN: Yeah I was there once, for a week or so, on a film job. I was walking late one night after having drank a little too much. Without realizing it, I'd wandered out of the Quarter and found myself in a desolate run-down neighborhood that felt threatening. There was no one around and I was lost. I was getting apprehensive and then I saw an old guy walking towards me on the sidewalk. As we passed, I stumbled on an uneven stone. He glanced sideways at me and said “watch your step Tom”. All my hair stood on end and I felt a shiver down my spine. How did he know my name? The next day I told the story to the guy I was working with, who was from the area. He laughed and told me that the use of the name “Tom” is like “Bud” or “Pal.” So the mystery evaporated.
 
BR: Ha. Good story. Well I’ve been to New Orleans many times, but for very quick trips, never really settling in. For me, the city itself is a challenge to conventional reality. I mean, to quote Tennessee Williams, “America has only three cities: New York, San Francisco, and New Orleans. Everywhere else is Cleveland.” I think a lot of people’s reality is basically Cleveland.
 
TN: What? A suburb with beige houses, clean sidewalks, manicured lawns?
 
RS: Oh you mean like Long Island? I haven't manicured anything on my property in years.
 
BR: Oh good.
 
TN: But back to the story… the topic of revenge. It’s a universal theme in literature.
 
BR: Like The Count of Monte Cristo, Hamlet, Stephen King’s Carrie… is that literature?
 
RS: Oh yeah.
 
TN: So what drew you to that subject? Or to go deeper, where does the revenge compulsion come from?
 
RS: Hmm, hmm. Well there's a childhood fantasy buried inside me, that I suppose comes from having moved around every single year I was growing up, so I was always the “New Kid” and kind of a target of pranks of all kinds. Thing is, we'd pick up and leave before I ever got the chance to settle the score. I've always been drawn to particularly appropriate and creative means of getting even. So when I hear a good, twisted tale of retribution, it kind of sticks in the muse locker.
 
BR: I see...
 
RS: For later use.
 
BR: Yeah okay. Now I saw Neal Bacon’s family protectiveness and pride, in your story and the actions he takes, as almost a form of tribal warfare -- a male thing. His sister never asked him to take revenge, right?
 
RS: Oh absolutely, and it's a very deep part of Irish culture here and all the way back to the old sod. It's the chieftain's duty to protect his people, even when it means getting in way over his head. I wrote a recent story around such an ancient tale of two clans brandishing weapons across the width of a creek after one tried to steal a cow from the other. There's genuine relish in conflict within the ancient culture at least, and I recall writer G.K. Chesterton, who described the Irish in his Ballad of the White Horse, as “The men that God made mad, for all their wars are merry and all their songs are sad.”
 
BR: That's good. So in your story it seems also a type of class warfare, if we might infer an additional motive, maybe a subconscious one. Reynal is rich. Neal’s the working man who resents him.
 
RS: Not so subconscious. “Thinking who you are” is a particularly bad kind of behavior among the neighborhood folks in Brooklyn, and I suspect, in Nola too. Lots of resentment for those who try to rise above their kin, then show it off. “Lord it around, over everyone.” It's a phrase I learned when I first came to New York.
 
TN: So what would you say about the morality of a poisoner? Someone who takes it on himself to mete out punishment.
 
RS: Hmm... That's another good question. The answer in this particular case falls between the extremes of complete justification and poor judgement. I don't think that Neal would have used such drastic measures to get “even” unless the slight had been, as it was in this case, against a family member, then flaunted about town. Maybe Neal will have to pay later. Or maybe he won't. Humor wielded as a weapon is also somehow, deeply Irish.
 
TN: Yes indeed. You know I often wonder… why do people get upset when others break the rules, and feel the need to react? Is it because in order to maintain civilization, our individual desires have to be compromised with those of others, so to flout that is in effect to undermine the group effort at survival? Something deeply rooted in our evolution?
 
RS: Well I think there are many things that were hard-wired into our behavior, tens of thousands of years ago, going back to our struggle to find homes in new lands among others who probably weren't all that friendly. In those ancient times it had to be our tribe, our clan, first. Prescribed behavior kind of kind of grew out of what was of benefit to all, long before the idea of individual achievement came along. A community... I don't know... seems to need to be settled before it can take the time to create art or songs and sit and tell stories around the fire. So breaking rules established in struggle like that can be seen as the equivalent of turning your back on your people. Loyalty and trust are probably the attributes most respected.
 
BR: Yeah well this has been a good discussion. So, Richard, do you have any new work in progress? Or… how do you spend your days?
 
RS: Well, sad to say my creative writing has been pretty much blocked since January of 2017. Inauguration Day. But besides River Traffic, which is the tentative name of my Nola tale , I've also got a sequel to an ancient travelogue through Gaul that I released a couple of years back, The Gift that I'm still... you know, I've got ideas revolving around my brain. But every time I try to return to these, since January 2017 I've found my usual, very engaging muse has completely fled the scene, leaving me to try to figure it all out on my own. Now that the mid-terms are over, I'm hoping my poor, stressed brain will recover enough to get on with my writing but in the meantime, I always have home repairs, cats to wrangle, ponds to paddle, guitars to pick, you know. And keeping ahead of the doctors can keep you on your toes too. I also still ply the design craft for a select group of clients, doing book covers and marketing graphics and things like that so that gives me some creative outlet.
 
BR: Yeah. You know sometimes I think -- considering how much exposure some of us get for our writing -- that maybe just imagining the work is just as valid as actually doing it. The quality is certainly higher, at least for me. But then I say to myself, Nah… it’s fun to sit down at the keyboard and bleed!
 
TN: Well, I write on my phone. Very small keyboard, a lot less pain. Though what it doe to your mind is something else. Thanks for joining us, Richard.
 
RS: No, thank you both. It's been a lot of fun, and thinking about my work may actually serve to help get me back to it!
BR: The author of today’s story couldn’t come to our studio because he lives some distance away -- not in New Orleans as you might guess, but in a distinctive enclave of New York sometimes known as “LawnGUYland”. So we have him on the phone line right now.
 
TN: And my apologies in advance if the sound quality is compromised by the phone connection. Welcome, Richard.
 
RS: Hey! It's my great pleasure to talk to you both today. I'm so glad I didn't have to cross those bridges . Tolls add up, you know. You've got to love that VOIP.
 
BR: So Richard, you and I have been sort of internet writing acquaintances for maybe a decade. And I’ve seen your author website, which has about 8 times as many books as I have. It seems most of your fiction deals with Irish history, so I’m wondering, why did you set this story in New Orleans?
 
RS: Well that's a very good question. It just so happened that I was on a reconnaissance mission down to Nola with my wife many years ago, when we discovered some buried family secrets surrounding the grandfather on her father's side that no one ever spoke about. Second Generation Irish American merchant seaman from Brooklyn. After some sleuthing, we found an old address of his down in the Seventh Ward not too far from a Naval Yard that was active in the Thirties, and through the war. The whispers from living children of his, suggested he disappeared and took up with another woman down there, so we wanted to find out. I mean any excuse to take a walk near the foot of Canal Street, if you know what I mean.
 
BR: Yeah, yeah.
 
RS: Anyway, what we found out changed the family history completely. He had been part of a secret Navy/US Maritime Commission convoy made up of brand new two-hundred foot long ocean-going tow tugs. They were built just upriver from Nola at Avondale... and barges. And it turns out it was critical to supply an airbase being built on Tinian Island in the South Pacific. And that airbase later became the home of the Enola Gay. Anyway, he never made the return voyage completely and he's buried down in Panama.
 
But the whole thing felt kinda like a book, you know? But the idea really got cemented into place when we ran into a couple of street musicians in the Quarter on Royal. We got to talking and it turned out they had just moved there from Red Hook, Brooklyn. They were history teachers in the public schools and spoke at length about all the connections between Red Hook and Nola along the lines of Irish merchant seafaring families that often kept homes in both places! So we were thinking about that when a guy comes out of the bar as we speak and he comes over to throw in. He asks us where we were from, and my wife, Vivian replied with her usual humor, “Well, where do they call it a drink o' wah-tah?' He said, “Either here in the Channel, or from Brooklyn!”
 
BR: Yep.
 
RS: So... you know, I mean... What? So the story kind of reflects the need for the recent Irish immigrants to protect their communities by honing this rough-and-ready... I don't know... reputation? It seemed kind of appropriate, and when the tale of the bar-stool retribution began circling around in my head again, it found a new home and became a story. So we've been back many times, and I've enjoyed lots of drinks and pints in the bar the story was set in, right on Magazine Street. The book itself has been a six-year labor of love, so far. I'm about three quarters of the way through. But I'm thinking I might need to nail down some more local facts, don't you?
 
BR: Yes sir... another visit, right! I walked the full length of Magazine Street once, long ago. And I've walked up and down Royal more times than I can count. But it's an interesting coincidence that I'm currently reading A Confederacy of Dunces, which is famous for its New Orleans speech, and also one of the preface pages points out the same thing you just said – how the dialects of New Orleans and various parts of the New York City area share a common source.
 
RS: So it seems the whole world grew out of Brooklyn at one time or another.
 
TN: Yeah...maybe. But culturally New Orleans is a very unusual place, at least for an American city. A place with it’s own brand of magic, as in the Cajun witchy-woman in your story. So what else can you tell us about her?
 
RS: Im going to probably have to... next trip down go and visit Marie Laveau's grave in Iberville Number Two Cemetery at the St. Louis Church off Treme.
 
BR: Oh yeah, I've been there.
 
RS: Of course, the word has it that she's still hanging around outside her tomb. Folks of all kinds still leave requests and different forms of payment for favors granted. Even the historians think she may have been one of the most powerful, politically connected women in the entire South at one time. And I'm no one to scoff at the idea of magic, either. In or near New Orleans, near the city, we've found that practitioners of folk cures and healing both from Cajun and Creole cultures, are still plying their trades. You see occasional signs hanging on trees. They might not hang a regular shingle up but most of the older folks in a neighborhood know who to go to see if you need something special.
 
TN: Yeah I was there once, for a week or so, on a film job. I was walking late one night after having drank a little too much. Without realizing it, I'd wandered out of the Quarter and found myself in a desolate run-down neighborhood that felt threatening. There was no one around and I was lost. I was getting apprehensive and then I saw an old guy walking towards me on the sidewalk. As we passed, I stumbled on an uneven stone. He glanced sideways at me and said “watch your step Tom”. All my hair stood on end and I felt a shiver down my spine. How did he know my name? The next day I told the story to the guy I was working with, who was from the area. He laughed and told me that the use of the name “Tom” is like “Bud” or “Pal.” So the mystery evaporated.
 
BR: Ha. Good story. Well I’ve been to New Orleans many times, but for very quick trips, never really settling in. For me, the city itself is a challenge to conventional reality. I mean, to quote Tennessee Williams, “America has only three cities: New York, San Francisco, and New Orleans. Everywhere else is Cleveland.” I think a lot of people’s reality is basically Cleveland.
 
TN: What? A suburb with beige houses, clean sidewalks, manicured lawns?
 
RS: Oh you mean like Long Island? I haven't manicured anything on my property in years.
 
BR: Oh good.
 
TN: But back to the story… the topic of revenge. It’s a universal theme in literature.
 
BR: Like The Count of Monte Cristo, Hamlet, Stephen King’s Carrie… is that literature?
 
RS: Oh yeah.
 
TN: So what drew you to that subject? Or to go deeper, where does the revenge compulsion come from?
 
RS: Hmm, hmm. Well there's a childhood fantasy buried inside me, that I suppose comes from having moved around every single year I was growing up, so I was always the “New Kid” and kind of a target of pranks of all kinds. Thing is, we'd pick up and leave before I ever got the chance to settle the score. I've always been drawn to particularly appropriate and creative means of getting even. So when I hear a good, twisted tale of retribution, it kind of sticks in the muse locker.
 
BR: I see...
 
RS: For later use.
 
BR: Yeah okay. Now I saw Neal Bacon’s family protectiveness and pride, in your story and the actions he takes, as almost a form of tribal warfare -- a male thing. His sister never asked him to take revenge, right?
 
RS: Oh absolutely, and it's a very deep part of Irish culture here and all the way back to the old sod. It's the chieftain's duty to protect his people, even when it means getting in way over his head. I wrote a recent story around such an ancient tale of two clans brandishing weapons across the width of a creek after one tried to steal a cow from the other. There's genuine relish in conflict within the ancient culture at least, and I recall writer G.K. Chesterton, who described the Irish in his Ballad of the White Horse, as “The men that God made mad, for all their wars are merry and all their songs are sad.”
 
BR: That's good. So in your story it seems also a type of class warfare, if we might infer an additional motive, maybe a subconscious one. Reynal is rich. Neal’s the working man who resents him.
 
RS: Not so subconscious. “Thinking who you are” is a particularly bad kind of behavior among the neighborhood folks in Brooklyn, and I suspect, in Nola too. Lots of resentment for those who try to rise above their kin, then show it off. “Lord it around, over everyone.” It's a phrase I learned when I first came to New York.
 
TN: So what would you say about the morality of a poisoner? Someone who takes it on himself to mete out punishment.
 
RS: Hmm... That's another good question. The answer in this particular case falls between the extremes of complete justification and poor judgement. I don't think that Neal would have used such drastic measures to get “even” unless the slight had been, as it was in this case, against a family member, then flaunted about town. Maybe Neal will have to pay later. Or maybe he won't. Humor wielded as a weapon is also somehow, deeply Irish.
 
TN: Yes indeed. You know I often wonder… why do people get upset when others break the rules, and feel the need to react? Is it because in order to maintain civilization, our individual desires have to be compromised with those of others, so to flout that is in effect to undermine the group effort at survival? Something deeply rooted in our evolution?
 
RS: Well I think there are many things that were hard-wired into our behavior, tens of thousands of years ago, going back to our struggle to find homes in new lands among others who probably weren't all that friendly. In those ancient times it had to be our tribe, our clan, first. Prescribed behavior kind of kind of grew out of what was of benefit to all, long before the idea of individual achievement came along. A community... I don't know... seems to need to be settled before it can take the time to create art or songs and sit and tell stories around the fire. So breaking rules established in struggle like that can be seen as the equivalent of turning your back on your people. Loyalty and trust are probably the attributes most respected.
 
BR: Yeah well this has been a good discussion. So, Richard, do you have any new work in progress? Or… how do you spend your days?
 
RS: Well, sad to say my creative writing has been pretty much blocked since January of 2017. Inauguration Day. But besides River Traffic, which is the tentative name of my Nola tale , I've also got a sequel to an ancient travelogue through Gaul that I released a couple of years back, The Gift that I'm still... you know, I've got ideas revolving around my brain. But every time I try to return to these, since January 2017 I've found my usual, very engaging muse has completely fled the scene, leaving me to try to figure it all out on my own. Now that the mid-terms are over, I'm hoping my poor, stressed brain will recover enough to get on with my writing but in the meantime, I always have home repairs, cats to wrangle, ponds to paddle, guitars to pick, you know. And keeping ahead of the doctors can keep you on your toes too. I also still ply the design craft for a select group of clients, doing book covers and marketing graphics and things like that so that gives me some creative outlet.
 
BR: Yeah. You know sometimes I think -- considering how much exposure some of us get for our writing -- that maybe just imagining the work is just as valid as actually doing it. The quality is certainly higher, at least for me. But then I say to myself, Nah… it’s fun to sit down at the keyboard and bleed!
 
TN: Well, I write on my phone. Very small keyboard, a lot less pain. Though what it doe to your mind is something else. Thanks for joining us, Richard.
 
RS: No, thank you both. It's been a lot of fun, and thinking about my work may actually serve to help get me back to it!
Music on this episode:
Tanzen by KieloBot
License CC BY-NC-ND 4.0
Sensual Melancholia by Loyalty Freak Music
License CCO 1.0 Universal